A Day that Will Live in Infamy

Now that she has returned home, I can announce this.  Just two weeks ago, my daughter and her high school bandmates were here, in Pearl Harbor, representing our state at some of the events commemorating the bombing of Pearl Harbor 70 years ago.  They played solemnly and proudly at the USS Arizona memorial and at the USS Missouri, and they marched in the Waikiki Holiday Parade the day after Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving took on new meaning for these thoughtful and appreciative teenagers.  They have a newly found thankfulness for the blessings in their lives, blessings paid for by the sacrifices made by  those entombed in the wreckage at Pearl Harbor.

God bless our military and their families.

Happy Birthday!

I'm Not Sure Why I Did It

I'm still nose deep in the chaos surrounding marching band season.  The competitive season ends this coming Saturday, but the days leading up are making us all crazy.  I'm in charge of the souvenir program for the upcoming state championship, and my deadline is looming.

I'm not sure why I volunteered to take on this project.  It has been incredibly nerve-wracking.

I shall return.  I promise.  I can't guarantee, however, that I'll be sane when I do.

The Mean Streak

Recently I confided in a couple of close friends of mine that for months.......*sigh*.......(and I dreaded admitting aloud)...........the song has been dead in my heart.

"Horror of horrors!  Say it isn't so, Songbird!"

Yes, sadly, it had been.  Of late, however, the ember has started to smolder.  About a week or so ago, I burst into song spontaneously, belting out Schubert's Ave Maria with all of the emotion I muster during a stirring high holy Marian mass.

I was at home.  Alone.  I was showering.

Perhaps it was in gratitude for making it through my surgery alive.  Perhaps it was, as my more charismatic friends would say, "the spirit moving me."  Regardless, I found my song again.

My iPod is being used again, and my vocal chords have been worked extensively.

Still, I am not yet returning to the choir loft at church.  At my parish, I don't feel welcome there, and the choir director seems to have forgotten me.  At my friend Jim's parish (where he became the music director after leaving our parish), I am welcome, but I don't feel ready yet to make the switch.

I have fallen away from the church of late, but when I DO attend, I sing only a few of the songs, usually quietly rather than robustly.

So, why oh why, did the green monster raise his ugly head when I read on another friend's Facebook status that she was asked to sing at weddings and funerals at our parish, a position that I used to hold but was forced to give up due to circumstances not of my choosing?  I'm happy for her, but in my heart of hearts, I am angry and envious.

I loathe this side of me.  Ugh.

I should swallow my pride and move on, right?  Continue the work I have started on my CD and not look back.

Ahead, the road looks much brighter.

Later daze........

I'm Sure I'm Not the Only One.........

.......who has made this observation, but I'm going to say it anyway.  I truly believe that the best way to find out the best (and maybe the worst) things about your marriage/relationship is to go through a challenging time.  The past few weeks have been an eye-opening time for me, and I can honestly say, that 20 years ago, I made the right decision:  I married the man I call my husband, partner, and father of my children.

On the 17th of August, I had major surgery (which had been months in the planning).  During surgery, I suffered some blood loss, which meant I needed a transfusion of two units of blood as well as two units of iron.  I spent a total of four days and nights in the hospital, which coincided with the first days of school.  Since then, I have not been able to lift anything heavier than a utensil, I can't bend over easily, and I am only now driving short distances.  I have not resumed driving the school carpools, I have yet to attend a high school football game, I have not gone grocery shopping, and I tend to sleep A LOT.  I have not yet cooked a meal, washed a load of laundry, nor loaded a dishwasher.  Despite this, my house is clean, the kids are on track with homework (mostly), everyone's clothes are clean, and no one has missed a meal.

Long ago, my kids learned that being a part of this family means being part of a TEAM, and every member has a role.  My daughter learned years ago how to cook a meal and wash clothes, and my son learned how to gather trash and load and run the dishwasher.  So the fact that they have picked up the slack doesn't surprise me.

What HAS surprised me, and maybe it shouldn't have, is the way my husband has picked up the "mom" duties so readily.  He checks the online school system nightly to oversee the kids' assignments; he's driven kids to and from school and band practices; he's made sure lunches were made and packed, and he's driven me to countless doctors' appointements.  In short, life has barely skipped a beat around here.  Although I have had to skip all of my volunteer duties for the past several weeks, life continues pretty much as normal, allowing ME the ability to do what I need to do, which is HEAL.  Granted, my husband had much "comp" time due him from work, so he had the time available to step in and take over some of my duties, but I am amazed at how much time I have to myself.

Which, as I have discovered, is sorely needed (pun intended).  I am as weak as a baby, and my emotions are all over the map.  One day I begin to feel normal, and the next day and for days after, I feel as if I have been used as a punching bag.  I am trying to use my Vicodin at night only to help me sleep, but even during the day, I have found myself reaching for the Tylenol.

Time is what I need.  Time to heal, time to sleep, time to cry when necessary, and time to laugh.

And after all this time, I've learned how much my husband truly loves me.

I am a fortunate woman.

Later daze, y'all............

I'm Still Standing

It's been a crazy few weeks leading up to the start of school this week.  I think the week before is as busy as the starting school, with all of the prep work that needs to be done (papers to be signed, supplies to be purchased, meetings to attend, etc.)  Oy vey, I need a break already, and it's only two days into the school year!

I'm going to be offline for the next week or so, for reasons I would rather not discuss, but if you are a Facebook friend of mine, you can find updates there.  I know I have been absent from here quite a bit, but perhaps when I return, even amidst the clamor of my hectic band parent schedule, I'll be a bit more prolific here.

In the meantime, have fun, don't get caught, and stay out of jail.  The bail fund is empty.

Later daze.........

The Times They are A'Changin'

Just when I thought that things might be settling down, more changes are occurring.  See?  I knew resistance was futile!

I mentioned that the day after school was over, my daughter received word that her choir director had resigned and taken a job at a rival high school.  Then just a few weeks ago, word came that the grade school principal was promoted to a directorship at the district level, leaving us without a principal for the second time in three years.  You might remember the debacle that surrounded the departure of my friend Greg the teacher and the subsequent ouster of that principal.  Getting the principal we've had for the past three years was the answer to a prayer.  She is extremely bright, innovative, and a staunch children's advocate.  She genuinely loves kids, and every day stood at the front gate before and after school, greeting the over 800 students BY NAME as they began and ended their school day.

Two weeks ago, I was given the privilege of sitting on the interview panel to pick the new principal.  There were four candidates in all, and while they all had the requisite qualifications, there was one candidate who was, in my opinion, the most logical choice.  She subscribes to the same philosophies about education that the current/immediate past principal does, and they have worked together on special projects for the past several years.  Much to my pleasure, it was confirmed this past Tuesday night that this woman was indeed chosen to be our next principal.

So now we are a mere month away from the beginning of a new school year.  My daughter will be a sophomore in high school, and my newly minted 12-year-old son will be in the seventh grade.  This summer, with no trips or summer camps on the agenda, my children and I have spent our time sleeping late, staying up late, having picnics on the living room floor, taking trips to the local Italian ice parlor, watching DVDs, reading (both for fun and school), sharing long talks about this and that, and exchanging affection.  Often.  *smile*  I must admit, while I missed going to the beach this year (*sob*), I can honestly say that this has been a wonderful, blessed summer.  Next summer, I anticipate my daughter either working a job or spending more time with friends, so having her home (working an online class) this summer has been a true joy.  We've share lots of laughs, hugs, confidences, and stories, and it has been blissful.  Treasure them while you got 'em, as I've been told often.

So, yes, the times are a'changing, but I would be lying if I didn't say they are a'changing for the better.

Resistance is Futile.........

............at least when it comes to handling the hurdles of Life and the roadblocks that get assembled at a moment's notice.  Some things are unavoidable, some others need only be endured, and still others are thrown at one before the chance to duck arrives.

Still, I look upon those incidents as learning experiences, and at the age of 49, I think I've learned a lot.  *wink*  I'm open to more learning, of course, and I hope that at the end of my newest learning opportunity, I will emerge stronger and wiser.  Jobs have come and gone, my husband has had to be away from home from days and weeks at a time, I've had medical "issues," and still my children have grown and thrived, as have my husband and I.  We are a family who loves fiercely, laughs frequently, and stands by each other through all challenges and accomplishments.

I'm not a parent who "bubble wraps" my kids.  I think that makes them weak and also fosters a sense of entitlement.  Having my children grow up in a neighborhood amongst families with a certain amount of money, they are exposed enough to those kind of children.  You know the kind, the ones who for Christmas received not only a 52" flat screen LED television for their bedroom, but also the latest model iPod as well as the most expensive smartphone.  And the kid is only 13.  Yeah, those kids.

The day after school ended last week, my daughter received news that upset her greatly. She found out that the choir director at the high school resigned and took a job at a rival high school.  To most people that might not sound that dreadful, but if you understand how important music is to my daughter and me, you begin to understand how crushing this news was.  The high school my daughter attends not only has the state's second best marching band (of which she is a member), it also has enjoyed a reputation of having one of the best choirs in the state.  I never had the opportunity to have private voice lessons when I was young, and since my husband and I can't afford those for our daughter, we felt so blessed to know that our daughter would have the benefit of excellent music education at a public school.  So to lose her beloved choir teacher at school on the heels of losing a beloved music director at church just months earlier was a blow that sent my daughter seeking the refuge and solitude of her bedroom for a few days.

Enter mom.  Of course I wanted to take away the pain and anger she felt, but it's not as if I had some spare cash to pay a private voice coach $100 an hour for lessons.  So, I did what I do naturally:  I proposed a deal, one that would involve my daughter WORKING for her prize.  Being the mediator I am, I helped her broker a deal:  she works for our friend Jim (our previous church music director) as an assistant at his new parish, filing music, making music folders for the coming week, etc., for three hours a week, and in return, she earns an hour private lesson.  It's a win-win for all involved; he gets an assistant, she gets work experience and private lessons.

Yay me.  Go mom.  Nothing is free in this world, kids, but if you're willing to put in some sweat, you might just get some gold in the end.

Later daze, y'all..............

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

Perhaps.  Perhaps you've just written me off as a total slacker.  I can understand that.

I haven't really felt compelled to write much here.  I could blame it on the fact that with only 13 days of school left, I'm more interested in helping my children finish final projects, study for exams, complete last minute homework assignments, and attend final band and choir concerts of the year.  I could also mention that I've been intently helping my son prepare for his three black belt tests, the second of which will be this weekend.  I could also note some other life-changing events that have happened, but...............I won't.

I just............don't feel much like writing.  I was on a roll, writing stories, chapters, and song lyrics.  And then I hit a wall.  I was caught in a maelstrom of life events, and my enthusiasm for the written word waned.  I became disinterested in the interaction between my fingers and the keyboard.  Eh.  It happens.

Truly, though, this interest ebbs and flows, as is evident if you've read this blog for any length of time.  The tide will rise again, as it has many times, and I will again indulge in the tickling of the keyboard, but for now, I will continue to enjoy my hiatus.

A side note:  You've probably noticed that I rarely share photos on my blog any more, especially ones of my family. I decided long ago that I did not wish to have others see my children or family and our activities.  While my children have gotten older, they are still vulnerable to the lunacy of idiots, and I will continue to protect them the best that I am able.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter and Mothers' Day.  I will enjoy the melodies and harmonies of my children's bands and choirs over the next two weeks, and I am completely confident that a week from this Saturday, I will be watching my son receive his First Recommended Tae Kwon Do black belt.  It's been a 5+ year journey, and I couldn't be more proud of my amazing son.

Later daze, y'all................