Friday, June 03, 2011

Resistance is Futile.........

............at least when it comes to handling the hurdles of Life and the roadblocks that get assembled at a moment's notice.  Some things are unavoidable, some others need only be endured, and still others are thrown at one before the chance to duck arrives.

Still, I look upon those incidents as learning experiences, and at the age of 49, I think I've learned a lot.  *wink*  I'm open to more learning, of course, and I hope that at the end of my newest learning opportunity, I will emerge stronger and wiser.  Jobs have come and gone, my husband has had to be away from home from days and weeks at a time, I've had medical "issues," and still my children have grown and thrived, as have my husband and I.  We are a family who loves fiercely, laughs frequently, and stands by each other through all challenges and accomplishments.

I'm not a parent who "bubble wraps" my kids.  I think that makes them weak and also fosters a sense of entitlement.  Having my children grow up in a neighborhood amongst families with a certain amount of money, they are exposed enough to those kind of children.  You know the kind, the ones who for Christmas received not only a 52" flat screen LED television for their bedroom, but also the latest model iPod as well as the most expensive smartphone.  And the kid is only 13.  Yeah, those kids.

The day after school ended last week, my daughter received news that upset her greatly. She found out that the choir director at the high school resigned and took a job at a rival high school.  To most people that might not sound that dreadful, but if you understand how important music is to my daughter and me, you begin to understand how crushing this news was.  The high school my daughter attends not only has the state's second best marching band (of which she is a member), it also has enjoyed a reputation of having one of the best choirs in the state.  I never had the opportunity to have private voice lessons when I was young, and since my husband and I can't afford those for our daughter, we felt so blessed to know that our daughter would have the benefit of excellent music education at a public school.  So to lose her beloved choir teacher at school on the heels of losing a beloved music director at church just months earlier was a blow that sent my daughter seeking the refuge and solitude of her bedroom for a few days.

Enter mom.  Of course I wanted to take away the pain and anger she felt, but it's not as if I had some spare cash to pay a private voice coach $100 an hour for lessons.  So, I did what I do naturally:  I proposed a deal, one that would involve my daughter WORKING for her prize.  Being the mediator I am, I helped her broker a deal:  she works for our friend Jim (our previous church music director) as an assistant at his new parish, filing music, making music folders for the coming week, etc., for three hours a week, and in return, she earns an hour private lesson.  It's a win-win for all involved; he gets an assistant, she gets work experience and private lessons.

Yay me.  Go mom.  Nothing is free in this world, kids, but if you're willing to put in some sweat, you might just get some gold in the end.

Later daze, y'all..............

26 CLICK HERE to leave a comment:

Karmyn R said...

What a great way to earn music lessons! You are a smart mom.

That is a total bummer the music teacher left - HOWEVER....trying to look on the bright side - someone new means fresh new ideas that could totally revolutionize the band/choir and make things even better. (here's keeping my fingers crossed that happens!)

Desert Songbird said...

Karmyn: I think if the band director had left too, I'd be drinking quite heavily by now. ;) Yes, I know there is the bright side. We're trying to keep an open mind and not think about how the new music director at church has not worked out for the better (at least to us). She had her first voice lesson today; she's really going to be working hard. She may find the actual office work so much easier! ;P

Travis Cody said...

You are awesome. When I read stuff like this, it makes me confident that there are plenty of good parents out there who understand the way to teach kids how to be great people.

Thanks for that.

Kila said...

Sounds good. :) Yay, Mom!

Hopefully the new teacher will be wonderful!

Desert Songbird said...

Trav: Thanks for the compliment. I make mistakes; every parent does. But I'm such a stickler for things like good manners, deference to elders and authority figures, and working hard for things that you want, that the lessons can't HELP but pay off with my kids and their ability to handle the future. I hope. ;) Right?

Desert Songbird said...

Kila: I'm cautiously optimistic. I mean, it could happen, right? Maybe, just MAYBE there is a quality music teacher out there who won't be burdened by the fact that the position is no longer full-time, and just wants to teach music to teenagers. Just maybe.....

Ken said...

Good thinking! I should try doing that instead of saying we don't have money for that, or giving in and spoiling my kids. Your way sounds a lot better.

loveX6 said...

Good ideas come to those who think logically. Good going, Sis.

Katherine said...

You know I think you are a great Mom...this is just another example.

While its one kind of difficult to deal with life's disappointments it is an entirely different kind of difficult to help your child through theirs. (no matter what age the child)

It's a good time for Bonnie Lass to learn (that sucky lesson) that people who you love and admire move out of your life. Make good use of the time you have them.

But WAY more important...she can learn how vital it is to work at something you enjoy. Working for the music director, even if it is office work, will really be an influence on her as she contemplates education and a career.

And she has a job.
Way Cool.

Desert Songbird said...

Katherine: Thanks for the compliments. It is tough as a mom to sit and watch your child not only suffer through heartache but realize that there's little you can do to change things. It's tougher, in some ways, to know you CAN change things but choose not to in order to help your child toughen up and learn a lesson. I think I picked a compromise situation that is the best way for her to learn and grow.

Sadie said...

I fully understand her response-- if I lost an assistant band director in college to another school and it killed me.

What an excellent plan, though! And she'll probably learn a lot about the other side of choir, too.

Desert Songbird said...

Sis: Mommy and Daddy taught us well, the lesson of hard work and reward. I hope I can teach my kids as well.

Sadie: I pretty sure she'll learn a lot. She's a level-headed kid, and she isn't one to take things for granted.

Sandee said...

I wish all parents took your approach to things. To many with their hand out nowadays. Your children will go far. Thanks to your hand up.

Have a terrific day. :)

Desert Songbird said...

Sandee: Thanks. i'm trying to pass on the lessons my parents taught me. I think if they were still with me, they'd approve.

Patricia said...

Thanks for tinkling the keyboard a little bit!

Desert Songbird said...

Patricia: I'm just guessing, but judging by your turn of phrase, I'm thinking I know you rather well, right?

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Dear Songbird:

One word

YAY!

OK, you know I can not stop at one...

I knew you had posted but I just could not get here until now.

I am thrilled you made that connection, though I know oyu would not have stopped if that had not connected.

Well done my friend...as you have said, we all make mistakes, but you know what? It is our successes we need to magnify...

Desert Songbird said...

Vinny: Thanks for talking me through the thought process, Vinny. It helped, and I managed to broker this deal just a few days later. :)

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Always here to help a friend...day or night...but you knew that

Desert Songbird said...

Vinny: Yup. I know that about you. :)

Kailani said...

I think that's a great idea! I'm all for kids working for what they want.

Kailani
An Island Life

Crazy Working Mom said...

Great thinking, DS! Sounds like a win-win situation for all involved. Do you know who will be the replacement for the job? Perhaps it will be a better choir professor...someone she will grow to love even more!?

Desert Songbird said...

Crazy: As it so happens, Tisha, I have news. I was told by a VERY RELIABLE source that we will LOVE the new choir director. My daughter was thrilled to hear that news :)

Dean aka Sgt Dub said...

Great Job and wise indeed. The family stopped in Mississippi before I took off again and we visited two Guy restaurants, alas, not near as good as the one you took me too, I hope to get back to AZ when I get home and bring the family this time. Take care.

Amazing Gracie said...

Well, it's been awhile and I'm quite ashamed of myself.
You should teach a parenting class. Sadly, the lessons we were taught as young people have fallen by the wayside in so many areas of life. I especially liked what Kathleen and Travis said. Good job, mom!
~~~Blessings~~~

Mimi Lenox said...

Way to go, Mo!
You have set an excellent example for her in the reality of the world we live in. She will appreciate those lessons all the more if she's earning them as well.
PERFECT!!